Entradas

The weight of your decisions

 I wish I would have known sooner how much I would miss you, so I wouldnt let you go, but I have to be honest and say that I dont miss your person per se, but who I was with you, how special I felt around you, like, you would look at me like I was the only one in the world, that made feel super special. I wish I could experience that kind of inimaginable love again, where I feel like the center of someone's love, though I'm pretty sure that kind of love only exist in my romance books, so wishing for something that's not ral it's even more pointless.

2024

 I came here and it was so sad to realize I still feel like the first entry... Sadness seem to be our brand now, she's really good at creeping in at the most random moments...Feels like the walls closing up on you... I never thought we could have so many tears inside, I guess it's awesome we do, otherwise I would have drowned in them already.... Life has to come around, it has to, or there wont be enough of me for the life...
 Found this blank space here, and couldn't stop thinking that's the way I feel most of the time, empty...

Disappointment

 No matter how hard you try, facts remain. How hard is to realize that no matter your efforts, they will never be properly acknowledged and they will never be able to erase the mistakes made. How empty, hopeless, tired, and sad one can feel sometimes. March 10th/2022

Surviving

 Learning how to breathe every morning. How to function without feeling yourself completely. Moving on with life, thinking about how things could have been different and whether that's something good or bad... Nov 4th 2021

Paths...

A few months has passed since I last wrote something in here... And sometimes the walls closing on me still feel real... Even now when I'm back home... It still doesn't feel like I'm complete. I heard that life is about choices, guess I've always known that, but it is just sinking into me.  

DECEPTION

 Today I just feel sad, this urge to feel appreciated, to feel loved, to feel like I matter, like I'm important for him... Hate this feeling, wish I could be enough for myself. Hate to feel like this...